im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
