I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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