Someone shit on the floor
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
someone owes me an orgasm
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize