Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
