Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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