i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
