dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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