He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
