Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
