some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize