We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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