Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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