FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
