I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
how does that bad decision feel?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
