I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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