Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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