My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
