I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
