from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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