Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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