guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
