I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
