Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
