i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
