im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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