There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
