atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
