If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
