garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize