Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize