Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
