I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
