I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
