we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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