I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
