K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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