i don't like sucking hair
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize