He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
