If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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