My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
