By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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