sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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