So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
