I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She even gives head with a lisp.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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