If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Someone shit on the floor
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
do herpes really smell.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
