Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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