i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
