i already hear my dad disowning me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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