If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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