i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize