Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
