GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
