Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
