I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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