so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
