Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
