and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I have post one night stand depression
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