I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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