My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
