Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
