lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
