i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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