Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
